What We Put Characters Through

I've been spending the majority of last night and today (thanks to two snow days) wrestling with what Gemma is going through. I'm in between chapters two and three, after spending a long time discovering that I was indeed starting the book in the wrong place. Gemma is going through something very difficult at the moment.

Here's the problem: she shouldn't be.

This poor girl has been down on her luck since she was born. Now that she's alone in Australia, being followed by two males of the not-so-friendly variety, I just want her to outhike and forget them. She can pick up the pace, put some kms under her feet and just be free of them.

But it can't happen. There's a knight-in-shining-armor moment that must happen. She has got to trust and lean on someone. Ki is filling that role. Unfortunately, Gemma doesn't see it. She thinks she'll be just fine on her own. Hell, she has been for the last few months anyway, so what should be any different now?

Oh, I've cried, gotten sick to my stomach, tried to delete the scene, but I can't. do. it. I'm immersing myself in the Twilight Score, hoping that the music will just get me to push through it, but it's still hard. Still difficult. It still breaks my heart and makes me want to stop writing.

The only thing that is getting me through is knowing that she'll come out of it ok and nothing really bad happens to her. Now, I just have to lower my head, plow through, and get done with it. Putting it off will only make it worse.