Overwhelmed

I've been at the new job exactly four days and I am feeling so overwhelmed, my stomach is acting up again. You know: the rumbles that act like a fault line in your body, the rumbles that make the voice in your head go "Oh, hmmm...where's the closest bathroom? Like, now?"

Yeah, that's been me for the past two days. Luckily I have learned breathing techniques that keep me safe until I get home (usually). Granted, I have to drive faster than four miles over the speed limit, which could be life-threatening, but, I do what has to be done.

I mean, why am I so nervous in the first place? I've taught for three years. I've taught MIDDLE SCHOOLERS for three years. High school students CAN'T be worse than middle schoolers--can they?

I think the biggest problem I have is just the material: getting comfortable with it, knowing what I'm doing, where I'm going, so I don't have to stop and interrupt a class when I have the earthquake in my stomach that needs to be dealt with and I can't find the bathroom.

I wonder if this is how Stephenie Meyer feels like before she faces a roomful of fans. All these people are here to see moi? Gulp.

So tomorrow through Monday evening I have to get myself under control. I have to find some confidence, I have to find some relaxation techniques. I have to get my head in the game without getting the rest of my body in the game, too!

Ugh. New jobs are stressful!